"On the Road" with Charles Kuralt was one of Jerry’s, my husband, favorite TV shows. I admit it was enjoyable—especially for those of us who live in big cities. We sometimes forget about the back roads, small towns, and beautiful scenery; we just fly down the interstates at breakneck speeds to reach our destination as quickly as possible.

Jerry is in la-la-land when driving the old back roads, two-lane highways, farm-to-market roads; and he does just that when given the chance. Stopping at Mom-and-Pop cafes, fruit stands, and simply visiting with "local folk" always sends him home with a lively story, or two. He’s definitely a Charles Kuralt "wanna-be."

Jerry has had some exciting and unusual adventures in rural Texas. Unfortunately, getting lost happens all too frequently. Usually in areas with no cell towers for miles.

One memorable trip involved a frightening chase by a pack of wild dogs through an overgrown country cemetery. Luckily he made it to the car just in the nick of time, and with the seat of his pants still intact!

And, once he stopped to help in a cattle roundup! The wayward cattle had broken through a fence and just been discovered by their owner as he drove down the rough, gravel road on his tractor.

Jerry was cruising ‘round the bend of that very road singing along with Willie Nelson. "On the road again, just can’t wait to get on the road again." The frantic farmer saw him coming, pulled into the center of the road, waved him over and asked for help.  A city-slicker driving a Lexus and a seasoned farmer on his tractor rounded up and drove the entire herd back into the pasture.

Another journey resulted in being abducted! Yep—by a Red Hatter of approximately 75 years of age! Even in the middle of no-man’s land, Jerry finds the action. While driving between Idalou (pop. 2,157) and Lorenzo (pop. 1,372), he noticed a lone building smack dab in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by cotton fields and apple orchards, the adjacent parking lot was jam packed with vehicles. Appearing to be a gift shop of sorts, he pulled in and parked. The sign in front read: Apple Country.

Jerry sauntered inside, scrutinized the various jams, jellies, and such for sale while chatting with the lone employee. Still, where were all the folks that belonged to all those autos? He was the only person in the shop! After an inquiry, the sales lady explained that the Red Hatters were having a meeting in their back room. Within seconds a little Red Hatter snuck up behind him, grabbed his arm, and chirped, "I heard you askin’ about us. Well, ya know this is a rural area, so our chapter is made up of ladies from small towns all ‘round the county."

Jerry was not only startled, but at a loss for words; he didn’t know what "Red Hatter" stood for and he’d certainly never seen one. He gawked at her wild red hat and finally mumbled something along the lines of, "Is this meetin’ for fun, or is something illegal going on here?" The Red Hatter giggled, her eyes twinkled, and she knew she’d found some unexpected entertainment to jazz up their meeting.

She grabbed Jerry by the hand and dragged him towards the back. "Come along now, son, I just can’t wait for all the girls to meet ya!" She snickered. Being a gentleman he couldn’t scuffle with the tiny gal, so allowed her pull and tug until they entered a room in the back. He did a double-take, for he was facing a room full of red hats, purple clothing, and was being introduced. "Ladies, ladies, this man is from Dallas and wanted to say hi to y’all." The group waved and squealed. Red Hatters are definitely not the shy type!

Little did they know, but Jerry isn’t the shy type either; he rather likes women and especially feisty senior citizens. "Don’t pay any attention to me ladies—I just stopped by to see if I was really gone!" Another round of laughter erupted as well as more waving and clapping. He told them his name, that he’d been out their way on business, and charmed them with, "Looking out there at all you beautiful ladies— makes me feel like I must have died and gone to heaven—and this has got to be recess!"

He barreled through the door that evening and began telling me about the Red Hatters, although he still had no idea who they were. Once I reminded him of my favorite poem—he was dumb struck! "But, you didn’t tell me they actually had an organization! I just thought it was a poem you liked." His enthusiasm said it all— stumbling upon the lively Hatters was the highlight of his day.

I doubt those jovial little gals expect to see Jerry again but I feel certain they will. He travels that route several times a year calling on clients and he’ll be keeping an eye on the parking area at Apple Country. One of these days he’ll barge into their meeting with, "Hi ladies, do ya remember me?" For some strange reason, he convinced himself they made him an Honorary Member that afternoon…

©2007 Rev. Kathleene S. Baker
Lnstrlady@aol.com